slayboybunny:

heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitley not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im fucking allergic to bananas.  

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”